Traditional Values

When I asked my grandfather what it felt like to be old, he replied that he still felt like teenager on the inside.  Now that I am older than he was at the time, I know exactly what he was talking about.  This includes feeling the same way about what is right and wrong.

Every now and then, I am told that this makes me old-fashioned.   If so, I embrace the label.  Some things do not go out of fashion and morality is—or should be—one of them.   We may need to adjust it occasionally, but we should never throw it out wholesale.

One of the things I like about living in the South is that some of the old ways survive.  Politeness is still considered a virtue and the young continue to be taught to respect the old.  Mind you, southerners are no more moral than folks from other parts of the country.  They are just less likely to celebrate their transgressions.

Decades ago, when I was living in New York, I remember be told that it was silly to reprimand the young for violating the rules.  They weren’t going to listen anyway.  In fact, were they rebuked, they might do wrong simply to annoy their elders.

The idea was that if we tolerated casual sex, pot smoking, and cursing a blue streak, adolescents would eventually tire of being contrary.  Sooner or later they would settle down and support the time-tested truisms.

Well the generation that experienced this permissiveness has now reached maturity and it continues its coarse lifestyle.  Divorce is rationalized, dishonesty is accepted as the norm, and out-of-wedlock parenthood is regarded as a personal choice.

Individual responsibility is treated as a concept that comes straight out of the Dark Ages.  Whenever people do something malicious, it is obviously not their fault.  They are merely reflecting the corruption of the larger society.  It is therefore up to others to be their keepers.

Yet what happens if nobody is willing to be anyone’s keeper?  What if we depend upon the government to prevent nastiness, but it is unable to do so?  Then again, how could it, when those who administer it are as bereft of traditional values as those they govern?

Just look at Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.  Does anyone regard them as paragons of virtue?  Have they lived up to, or are they living up to, the traditional values?  If anyone answers yes to this question, I plan to hold onto my wallet when in their presence.

Donald’s marital history is scarcely exemplary, while Hillary’s husband had a problem with bimbo explosions that his wife blandly covered up.  Neither, of course, is admired for honesty, with both possessing a history of shady business dealings.  Each may, in fact, be guilty of criminal activity.

Nothing new here folks—right?  What is new is that one of them is liable to be elected president.  Oh sure, we have had immoral chief executives before.  But have we ever consciously voted for one?

What is radically unprecedented is that so many ordinary people are utterly tolerant of this sort of depravity.  They have been told to be nonjudgmental and have taken this to heart.  Rather than be unkind to anyone, they stand around and allow others to be as cruel as they want to be.

The moment we heard about Hillary’s machinations with a private server, her political aspirations should have been over.  The second that Donald used gutter language to insult an opponent; his campaign should have been history.  That this did not occur is more our fault than theirs.

Morality is never automatic.  The temptation to violate its strictures is universal.  But the traditional values became traditional because we upheld them.  That we no longer do is more than an affront to tradition.  It is proof that our moral benchmarks have eroded.

As for me, I will continue to be old-fashioned.  If those who believe in being non-judgmental find this offensive, I advise them to stop judging me!

Melvyn L. Fein, Ph.D.

Professor of Sociology

Kennesaw State University