Innocents Abroad

Samuel Clemens might have been a Missouri boy, but he was also a world traveler.  One of his first assignments as Mark Twain was to accompany a group of American pilgrims to the Holy Land and to report back on their progress.  His account was eventually published as “Innocents Abroad.”

My wife and I have also ventured across the Atlantic.  We recently returned from a cruise around the Baltic.  Aside from encountering cold and rainy weather the whole way, we also had our innocence tested.  No doubt we were less naïve than Twains companions, but we too were in for surprises.

First, on the airline trip over, we had a discussion with a Dutch national who had lived many years in the U.S.  When I explained how uncomfortable I had been during a bicycle trip through the Netherlands a half century ago, he empathized.  Yes, he agreed, Holland was windy and the bike paths had been paved with brutal cobblestones.

But those days, he continued, were long gone.  The Dutch remained fond of their bicycles, yet those paths had been smoothed over.  These vehicles were, as we soon discovered, still very much in use—with Dutch households owning an average of three.

We also found that the Dutch had grown taller since my previous visit.  Back in the 1960’s, the Americans and Scandinavians were celebrated for their height.  Today it is the Netherlanders who are the tallest folks in Europe.  Many of their young people tower over visitors from the States.

Given their cardiovascular exercise and a nutritious diet, they evidently shot up, whereas we Americans expanded from side to side.  Clearly a regime of herring and vegetables (which is what we were told they eat) is good for one’s health.

The Dutch have also modernized in ways that suggest a future advocates for a higher minimum wage will not like.  These industrious souls are in the process of automating whatever they can.  This was most apparent on our way home.

At Hartsfield International, when we checked in, a friendly attendant weighed our bags.  We joked with her about how much we were carrying and she confirmed that lifting all that luggage put a strain on her back.

Not so in Amsterdam.  They have a computerized machine that weighs the bags and, at the push of several buttons, prints out the necessary tags.  All we tourists had to do was figure out how the gizmo worked.

The same challenge presented itself after we navigated the check in process.  Although my wife and I looked around for a Dutch food vendor, the best we could manage was a McDonalds. 

The trouble was it too was automated.  Instead of a smiling face taking our order, we fumbled our way around a touch-screen device.  Still, after a few false starts, we succeeded in getting it to accept our credit card.  The only surprise was that it made us pay for our ketchup.

I remember when gas station attendants filled the tank and cleaned the windshield.  Now we take care of these chores for ourselves.  Soon, it appears, we will be doing the same for fast food.  Yet who would have thought the Dutch would get their first.

Nonetheless, those bicycles are not the wave of our future.  They may work in a small town like Amsterdam, but I am not about to make a twenty-mile commute to work on two wheels.  Nor would I relish doing so in the rain the way the Dutch routinely do.

Actually, the roadways around Kennesaw State University boast bicycle lanes.  These were supposed to promote energy sustainability.  Except no one uses them.  A tribute to wishful thinking, they are as useless as the showers KSU installed to allow bikers to clean up.

Progress, it seems, can be unpredictable.  It is hard to tell where it will show up or what form it will take.  Certainly we can learn from Europe, but not all of their practices will—or should—take root here.

Melvyn L. Fein, Ph.D.

Professor of Sociology

Kennesaw State University