Lessons from Cordele

Race relations are churning.  Scarcely a day goes by when some white person is not accused of white supremacy.  Although many people are tired of the racial backbiting, they are also afraid of the repercussions of being totally candid.

This reality is what made my attendance that the recent Georgia Sociological meeting at the Blackshear Lake Resort so refreshing.  It exposed me to what many black college students are thinking.

But first let me say a few words about the virtues of candor.  Almost everyone is aware that troubled race relations are endemic to America.  Even most Southerners are anxious to solve this lingering dilemma.

The trouble is that political correctness prevents us from discussing embarrassing issues.  Whenever we come upon a topic that might be construed as making African-Americans look bad, we are required to hold our tongues.  Instead of dealing with difficult questions, we sweep them under the rug.

Nevertheless, as should be obvious, that which is unseen remains unremedied.  The dirt that lies hidden below the carpet does not go away.  It attracts bugs and mold that compound the nastiness.  The same is true of social problems when we pretend they do not exist.

This is why my experience in South Georgia was so rewarding.  Aside from the ever-present gnats, the conference attendees from a historically black college made the trip worthwhile.  They renewed my faith in the courage of the young.

Let me begin by laying out the problem.  Today nearly half of all American children are born out of wedlock.  In addition, single parents raise the vast majority of them.  This is problematic in that youngsters so raised are at a disadvantage.  They are less well educated, prone to health difficulties, and eventually unemployed.

To make matters worse, these offspring are concentrated among the poor and minorities.  As a result, they inherit the disorganized lifestyles of their parents.  They too have difficulty creating stable families and, as a result, are prey to emotional instability.

Unfortunately, these disagreeable consequences disproportionately afflict the black community.  Here nearly three out of four children are born to unmarried parents, while divorce and cohabitation are rampant.

The black students I met in Cordele understood this all too well.  They were quite familiar with the communities from which they sprung.  Most were similarly aware of the struggles inherent in being raised by a lone parent.

In fact, one of the main reasons they were attending college was to rise above this.  They were convinced that a college education would help, and also mindful that a stable interpersonal relationship might ease their path and that of their offspring.

Moreover, because they were immersed in the dating scene, they could not help but wonder how to establish a committed heterosexual bond.  How were they to choose the right partner or develop long-lasting attachments?  All too cognizant of the way sexual promiscuity undermines faithfulness, could they avoid the pitfalls?

As a result, the students I talked to were investigating the campus hook-up scene.  They were also asking what it took to find a loyal mate.  More specifically, they were exploring the nature of sexual dishonesty.

In this, they introduced me to the phase “slut shaming.”  I knew freshmen women were often pressured into having sex.  But as a college professor I also knew the word “slut” was a feminist no-no.  Among themselves, however, these students did not care.  This was what was happening and hence they were prepared to acknowledge it.

They were also honest enough to admit the level of distrust between African-American men and women.  In addition, they knew first-hand that this was a barrier to achieving steadfast unions.  Pretending it was not so would not help overcome this difficulty.

It takes courage to confront unpleasant obstacles.  It takes even more courage to scrutinize one’s participation in maintaining these impediments.  The students I met possessed this bravery.  They were prepared to forgo blaming others for imposing problems they were responsible for correcting.

What about the rest of us?  Will we ever be honest about race?  Will we ever get beyond the blame game?  There is more than enough culpability to go around, but this will not fix what is broken.  Only a clear-eyed admission of what is wrong can begin that process.

Melvyn L. Fein, Ph.D.

Professor of Sociology

Kennesaw State University