An Epidemic

Jeb Bush froze.  Like a deer caught in the headlights, he did not know how to respond.  No, this was not about the Iraq War.  It was about unwed motherhood.  Like most politicians, this was a subject he had learned to avoid.

Two decades ago, Bush wrote that we as a nation must stop tolerating out-of-wedlock births.  These were so damaging to the young that we needed to stand up and denounce sexual carelessness.  The consequences of non-marital parenthood were too severe for us to remain silent.

Recently, however, when confronted with these words, Jeb backed down.  Now he had come to realize that these mothers were heroic.  They ought not be criticized because the job they were doing was tough enough.  Why make it worse by burdening them with guilt?

Not long thereafter a well know conservative commentator observed that Bush’s original position was too harsh.  Just because a woman happened to find herself raising children on her own was no reason to condemn her.  She was indeed valiant.

Yet this is Alice Through the Looking Glass stuff.  It turns the world backwards.  Unwed mothers do not just “happen” to find themselves raising children.  They do not wake up one morning to discover that these youngsters are magically there.  They have done something to make this happen.

Nowadays, more than forty percent of American children are born out of wedlock.  Meanwhile, more than seventy percent of Black children are.  This is not an accident; it is an epidemic.  It is a full-blown catastrophe.

If a disease had wiped out more than a third of all fathers, we would be in a state of national panic.  The question would not be whether should we do something, but what we should do?

Part of the reason we have been slow to respond is what Marvin Olasky called “the tragedy of American compassion.”  We do not want to hurt women who may already be suffering.  We certainly do not want to harm their innocent children.  Hence we do nothing and make the problem worse.

Consider Jeb’s plight.  As a politician, he cannot afford to alienate too many voters.  Because so many of them are unwed parents, or the children of unwed parents, or the friends and relatives of unwed parents, he fears a backlash.  If he is too candid, these folks, together with sympathetic liberals, may never forgive him.

Besides, the politicians haven’t the foggiest idea of how to stem the tide.  Tax credits, enhanced welfare, and birth control education have not done the trick; hence they do not know what else to try.

Nor are the churches much help.  Although many preach abstinence, their pews are empty of those who should hear the message.  In too many places, people are more afraid of being ridiculed by their neighbors than of going to hell for their sins.

Nor do all churches respond with reasonable recommendations.  One mega-church, I have been informed, has a rule that single women and married men are not allowed to be in the same room alone.  Do its ministers fear that the congregation has so little self-discipline promiscuity and infidelity occur whenever the chance arises?

As for the media, they are shameless.  Their masters will do anything for ratings.  As they happily tell us, they are not in the morality business.  Nonetheless, why should they be in the anti-morality business?

How ought we, as a society, respond to this orgy of irresponsibility?  Not, I am afraid, by being prudes.  Demanding total abstinence in a world where marriage is frequently postponed to the late twenties, and beyond, is unrealistic.  People will not comply.

But we can be honest!  We can make sure that everyone is aware of the dreadful implications of unwed parenthood for the very young.  We can also insist that people be careful.  Accidental pregnancies should no more be condoned than are drunk-driving accidents.  It is time for us, in our own interest, to sober up!

Melvyn L. Fein, Ph.D.

Professor of Sociology

Kennesaw State Univerisity