In Praise of Self-Discipline

Life can be hard.  We do not always get what we want.  Virtually every day we must pull ourselves together to perform onerous chores and/or refrain from attractive vices.   Not everything we do is about having fun or satisfying our momentary whims.

I, for one, do not always enjoy getting up in the morning.  I would prefer to lounge in bed daydreaming about the glorious deeds yet to be done.  Nor do I want to jump in my car to drive down I 575 so as to teach occasionally reluctant students.

Of course, there are days when I am eager to greet the sun and look forward to a stimulating day.  It’s just that I have duties to complete however I feel.  Like it or not, I need to rev up and get on with business.

Something similar applies to expressing myself.  I do not always verbalize what I think.  Oftentimes when people behave foolishly, but do not point a finger or declare someone a fool.  Rather than start a fight, I keep my sentiments to myself.

This goes double for my relationship with my wife.  Although I love her dearly, there are moments were her habits try my patience.  Never—and I mean never—do I insult her intelligence or impugn her motives.  To the contrary, my goal is to understand her point of view so that we can reconcile our differences.

I am no saint, but like a majority of adults in our mass society I have learned the rudiments of self-discipline.  Most of the time, I honor my responsibilities and avoid unnecessary conflicts.  Civilized society would be impossible were this not the norm.

In previous columns, I have argued for principled realism.  Yet this would be unworkable were we entirely impulsive.  If we did not stop to think before we acted, we would seldom adapt our endeavors to unpleasant realities.  We would instead blunder ahead breaking the furniture.

As importantly, were we wholly spontaneous, morality would be out of the question.  We would injure each other without a second thought by violating the simplest of precepts.  In brief, we would lie, cheat, and murder as the spirit moved us.

Nonetheless, self-discipline is now in short supply.  When we look to the political scene, we see a president who sometimes cannot prevent himself from tweeting inappropriate comments.  We also see his opponents engaging in subversive conduct just so that they can injure him.

Perhaps worst of all, we see national journalists throwing tantrums.  In an effort to gain personal attention, they play nonstop gotcha games.  No longer do they check out the sources of their scurrilous stories.

In fact, narcissistic intemperance has become common.  More of us than previously believe we deserve whatever we desire.  The mere fact that we want something provides the warrant for being selfish, inconsiderate, and—yes—stupid.  Not just political figures, but ordinary folks look for the easy way out.

As a college professor, I tell my students that if they hope to be successful, they must learn to read, write, and organize their activities.  If they do not read, they will not increase their knowledge.  If they cannot write, they will be unable to communicate effectively.  And if they are disorganized, they will squander their talents.

Nonetheless, many of my students do not read.  Academic books are often too dry to be stimulating.  Nor do they practice writing.  Doing so is more tedious than computer games.  Lastly, they are unsystematic.  No matter how often I urge them to begin class papers before the end of the term, almost none do.

In fact we are cultivating generation of snowflakes.  They cannot control themselves enough to listen to contrary opinions.  Rather than reflect on distasteful ideas, they scurry off to safe places or shout down opponents.

In a world as diverse as ours, this is a recipe for disaster.  It heralds an inability to arrive at shared conclusions or to prevent internecine warfare.  Without self-discipline, we are doomed.  Chaos is inevitable when people cannot keep their yearnings in check.

Why then aren’t we promoting self-control?  Why are we encouraging our young to live for the day and indulge in unbridled egoism?

Melvyn L. Fein, Ph.D.

Professor of Sociology

Kennesaw State University