A Sour Christmas

Christmas is supposed to be the holiday of love.  It ought to bring out the best in us.  But not this year!  The long knives are out and we are more defensive than in decades.

Of course children will still cackle with joy when they open Santa’s presents.  And families will still gather to share a sumptuous meal during which they renew their collective allegiance.  Even the public decorations will be familiar.  In some ways, they may be more splendid than ever.

But our national mood has gone sour.  An air of disgruntlement is abroad in the land.  People have become suspicious of one another in manner not seen since the 1960’s.  They now view one another as potential enemies, rather than friends.

Why?  A big reason is ISIS.  These folks want to kill us.  They do not believe in the brotherhood of all humanity, but only of those who join their commitment to a medieval brand of Islam.  Otherwise, we must convert, submit, or die!  Until then, they intend to terrorize us.

Another reason is the nasty political campaign.  The airwaves are filled with charges and counter-charges.  Although the presidential election is a year away, the contestants are already playing hardball.  Few have anything nice to say about rivals that they will happily support once a nominee is selected.

The worst offender is certainly Donald Trump.  He has single-handedly converted vulgarity into the currency of partisan rhetoric.  The Donald routinely insults people to their face and then swears he meant no such thing.  He was merely defending himself.

Trump has also foresworn political fidelity.  He has let it be known that he will pick up his marbles if others are mean to him.  While he can say whatever he likes, they had best not question the depth of his wisdom.

Then there is the Black Lives Matter movement.  It advocates have literally condemned others for asserting that all lives matter.  Moreover, they absolutely refuse to show respect for the hundreds of thousands of police officers that enable them to march down our streets in relative safety.

Next come the college students who are demanding safe places where they will not be offended.  By this they mean that others are not allowed to disagree with them without being severely penalized.  Question their views and they will shout you down and/or demand that you be fired.  In other words, safe spaces are for them—not their opponents.

Sadly this attitude of intolerance flows from the top.  Our president has never stopped demonizing his political adversaries.  Republicans, for instance, but not radical Islamists, are said to threaten our democracy.  Similarly, ordinary gun owners, but not crazies or gang members, are depicted as shooting us down.

Ironically, some of the very people who tell us to love one another, the ones who insist on promoting diversity, are most responsible for our current culture of distrust.  They ask us to be each other’s keepers, but apparently only if we are on their side.

I know that universal love is not possible.  I realize that we have been genetically programmed to cherish only those who we personally know.  Nonetheless, interpersonal respect is feasible.  We can refrain from insulting folks who hold opposing opinions.

In our mass techno-commercial society, Christmas is a reminder that we should be nice to strangers.  We do not need to accuse our adversaries of heinous crimes in order to win our arguments with them.

Thus ISIS can be stopped if we have the political will.  We can also learn to disagree with without being disagreeable.  When we are uncertain about how to address nagging problems, we can listen to contrasting points of view.

Nonetheless we do not require unconditional positive regard.  This is a juvenile fantasy that would have us to abandon our moral standards.  We do, however, need RESPECT!  During this holiday season, let us cut each other some slack.  Is that too much to ask?

Melvyn L. Fein, Ph.D.

Professor of Sociology

Kennesaw State University